A Jello Cube State of Mind.

I just read my summer bucket list - my last post on this blog, in June. I forgot that I have written it! Well, it seems that some of the items can be checked off the list, and some - we'll keep them for next summers.

There is a logical explanation for this more than half a year silence. Not an excuse, but a logical explanation. Yep, we've got a baby on the way. Exciting news, for sure!

Pregnancy is a new world, that consumes you. At least it did consumed me for these 6 months, but I really would like to come back to writing more often. And this post has a very specific purpose - to create notes to come back to when (and of course if) I am pregnant again. And if it helps a few others on the baby journey - well, even better!

1st Trimester

• Actually, this is for any trimester, and I hope to keep this mindset for the entire pregnancy - right from the start I assumed an imaginary role of a jelly car. Jelly Car is an iPhone game, where you operate a car made of jello. It is rather convenient proposition, if you think about it - when you need to roll over something - an obstacle or a gap - you just tumble trough, or if you need to squeeze through something - well, you are made of jello - you can do that too! You need to play this game for at least a minute to completely get the picture. And ... this is how I decided to envision myself - as a jelly car, now that I realized I carry a possibility of another person inside of me. A possibility, because, as you know, everything isn't quite established and not certain until 12 weeks in, so it is better not to make a big deal out of it until then. Quite impossible not to, and I think I failed in that, but I tried. So, the mindset of a jelly car at least helped not to worry, not to fear any complications and unexpected circumstances. I thought - I am a jelly car, encasing a possibility of a new life, so even if we have to tumble over something unexpected or squeeze through a narrow pathway - we can do that! It also helped to feel protected from some comments or suggestions - the ones that I agreed with I "let through" and the ones I didn't like bounced off the jelly exterior. I'd say even up to now that is the best "tool" I've got in my pregnancy "box". 
• Prenatal vitamins: they taste nasty! It is very typical not to enjoy your prenatal vitamins. For some reason, even though they are usually made to smell like vanilla or candy, within a course of a month I couldn't stand even the thought of them. Yet you absolutely want to take one every day. So I kept switching and switching, asking all experienced mommies I know of recommendations. This is how I came to try Garden of Life Prenatal vitamins. These vitamins smell like ... bouillon cubes, and ... that was a wonderful thing! Besides all the usual things in prenatal they also contain ginger (should be helping with morning sickness) and probiotics - to help the digestion (which did become a problem during the 1st trimester). Prenatal vitamins problem was solved and forgotten! 
• Morning sickness - I got off easy - not too many instances of leaning over the toilet bowl. I have read up on tips - and one of them really did work. Before I even got up I ate a Finn Crisp with some salt. Made a huge difference. Eating small portions and often helped as well. 

2nd Trimerster

• Overall, second trimester I felt just great. To the point that if not for the growing belly, I literally forgot I was pregnant. No more morning sickness (with a few sudden flashbacks), no more tiredness, it felt like I finally woke up from a 3 months sleep. That makes the 1st trimester sound bad, but it actually wasn't that bad, it is the 2nd trimester was that much better in comparison. 
• Stretch marks - as research says, actually you have no control over them. Either you will have them or you won't - all depends on your genes. However, I wanted to believe I can help myself even if a little bit by using some lotion. I chose Bio-Oil for no particular good reason, but since it was very much in your face everywhere - they really do good marketing. I did start using it on recommendation, but the recommendation was also unsubstantiated - "I just used it, and ... no stretch marks!" At least it eases the itchiness from when you belly grows. No stretch marks so far. However, my mother also didn't have them. 
• Baby prep 101 - stage 0. By the middle of month 6 I felt we needed to start preparing for the baby - get books, sign up for courses, start planning the baby shower.  The collection of books is gathered - I will write about them separately. Some of the courses are finished - we even received a certificate from the hospital! Baby shower is not planned and no registry created. I know some of the future moms get really excited about getting all that baby stuff, but not me. I'd rather have all of this already done and bought (and the less the better - if I only knew what I would really need - I'd buy just that, or better - borrow). For me the biggest excitement is just about meeting the baby. Ever since wedding planning in 2009 I remembered that The Knot gives a nice calendar with activities for each month of what to do at that stage of wedding planning. Their sister site, The Bump, as I suspected had a similar list for preparing for a baby, and it did! It helps a bit with knowing what to do when. 
• Hip pain - I am a back sleeper naturally, and during pregnancy you should sleep on your side (actually left side in particular, since it will help your own organs to have more room). I was trying to follow this guideline, and because of considerably more side sleeping one night at around 6 months I woke up from dull, but strong hip pain that wouldn't go away, even during the day. Researching this topic on the Internet convinced me I am in for 3.5 months of torture, and that I would accept labor pain as relief. I panicked, but decided to try the first and simplest remedy suggested - body pillow to keep your whole top leg more parallel to the bed/floor. That really cured the pain - it went away! It just took a $10 Target pillow. I did try a special pregnancy pillow - in a form of a C - it was too hard and uncomfortable and needed to be returned. 
• Yoga - since I had no physical activity restrictions anymore, I decided it is time to come back to yoga. Yoga has become one of my favorite ways to keep in shape in the last few years and I was keeping up with it pretty regularly, time and laziness permitted. I was already looking for prenatal yoga classes, when my favorite teacher Marina, the owner of Mind Body Flow Yoga made a huge discovery for me - I actually can continue the usual, not prenatal yoga classes with a few modifications of poses. Coming back to my regular practice made a world of difference. Overall, it seems yoga was created especially for pregnancy - all the focusing, breathing through difficult poses, all the stretching, constant training of your concentration can become a huge help in labor. In theory. We will see. 

Overall, the second trimester is really so nice and easy. Just as they say! As an added bonus you get a chance to learn the gender of the child - this was a very exciting day! It is the day when you know a bit part of your own history is revealed to you, and you can almost touch it.

One of the most worrisome days for the pregnancy is the day you have a screening for various genetic deceases - they give you probabilities of the baby having any. I tried to calm my nerves that day with observing nature, which did give us a glorious morning that day - I even have a photo of it:

Observing nature overall gives me power, balance and harmony and - it did help that day! We received reassuring news for that screening.

You also get to feel the first kicks, and then more and more. It becomes daily entertainment. The first thing I felt wasn't a kick, though. It was a feeling that somebody is simply leaning on the inside of my stomach. All of a sudden I had an ability to feel the inside of my stomach. At this point-  kicks are coming almost every hour and become more powerful. I suspect our baby boy is preparing for the Olympics. :)

These are the main things I wanted to remind myself of for the next time - if and when. Hope this helps if someone else is reading. As a general guidance - please do consult with your doctor before following any of my tips and thoughts - everybody is so different! 

My Summer Bucket List

The hot days of summer are just beginning, and it is nice to realize that we have all this glorious weather ahead of us. Finally WE have the best days in our region, and I just want to soak all this in, the best way yet. And next year we will try to top what was "achieved" this summer. That's the plan! :)

I noticed that if I make a list of something, it does come true. Perhaps in reality it will take 2 or even 3 summers to do all of this, but eventually we will get to it!

So, here it is - my summer bucket list in no particular order:

• Lots of yummy weekend breakfasts with my hubby 
• Read a book entirely in the back yard
• Kayaking
• See my brother more often
• Patio dinners with with parents and grannies
• Beach day(s)
• Going out to a hot dogs and burgers place for dinner
• Drive-in movie
• Make my own preserves (from berries gathered on a farm)
• Camping with a tent
• Bonfire
• A day on a boat on a lake
• Biking for ice cream, and just biking
• Ice cream social for my neighbors
• Road trip with family
• Lazy days with no agenda
• Belarussian style bacon made over open fire
• Swimming in rivers and lakes
• Learn a few new summer soups and salads
• Sailing
• More photo-sessions with my friend, Yulia
• Hammock in our back yard
• Learn a new pie or cake
• A day in a pine forest to smell it and hear the wind in trees
• Spend quality time with my friends on a join vacation, even just in Belarus
• Visit my childhood summers village - Kopatkevichi, and stay there for at least a week
• Yoga in the park
• Running a half marathon
• Play badminton
• Watch our favorite movie with my friend; the movie we saw at least 20 times, when we were teens 
• Stroll night summer streets and avenues of Minsk
• Visit Cape Cod
• Go whale watching
• Pay a visit to the Pacific ocean along the West Coast
• Attend Ivan Kupala, Belarussian mid-summer holiday
• Fireworks
• Visit London and hear Adele in concert
• Hot air ballon ride
• Fly a kite
• Go fishing

I think this should be a good start. :)

Zero Gravity

Zero gravity is what I come home with after a vacation.

This is a state I am in right now, and will try not to lose this nothingness.

What caused this wonderful state of mind? Lots of time with my love - my husband, Punta Cana beaches and his Majesty, the Ocean. Added to this recipe were luscious jungle of the resort, simply made, scrumptious, almost home cooked meals, champagne in the morning, great two books to read. Mix all of these ingredients and you get zero gravity.

In zero gravity I am free from compulsory dependency on my phone, I stop hurrying from one "to do" to another, I pay attention to hear and now, and I can completely lose myself in watching the turquoise ocean. There is nowhere to be, nothing to do, nothing to worry about.

Gran Bahia Principe Ambar was a perfect place to stay, Paulo Coelho's Aleph was a perfect book to read (in addition to it and to counterbalance was Lemony Snicket's Austere Academy - a perfect birthday gift from my hubby), the ocean was the most beautiful shade of turquoise to soak in.

I will try to carry myself with zero gravity for as long as I can, and if something weights me down, I'll remember this feeling and will try come back to weightlessness.

Thoughts

I think our self awareness sometimes plays it gently and makes you realize your big life changes in very unexpected ways. Last year brought a lot of new: new place to live, new status to adjust. I knew these things happened factually, but in reality this all just hit me. Just now, really.

Driving home a minute ago I thought: I am driving home to MY OWN HOUSE, from a NEW house of my friend, waiting for a HUSBAND to come home... and, I am a go-to person for my PREGNANT friend, when her husband is not around.

Wow!

And yet, this ALL still doesn't make me feel like an adult. And, I hope, this will never change. :)

Changes, Spring, Goofiness ...

There is one fact you don't know about this blogger - she has been laid off!

It happened a month and a week ago and left me feeling a little strange in the beginning. I even cried a little. (Ok, I bawled my eyes out in the office of my biggest boss with a presence of a nice (not sarcastic remark) HR person). But the hard feelings went away very quickly, giving room to the spirit of opportunity and a good change. 

I am very much obliged to my then boyfriend (now known as husband :) making me listen to "Who Moved My Cheese?" one time, when we were on a wavy road heading to Hershey's, PA. I owe my swift transformation from despair to hopefulness and joy to this 45 minutes story. Several years ago I pointed it out to a very depressed colleague of mine when she was leaving our company. Strangely, she reappeared on Facebook just days ago with the following message: "I will never forget "Who Moved My Cheese?" THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU I appreciate it more than you may know."

Our beautiful Spring also helped out - I am enjoying no work situation, when everything is so bright, young, fragile and beautiful. I can't say there is a season I don't like - I really do love all of them,  but Spring is truly special: after all the snow is gone, spring steps into its powers so vivaciously, it takes my breath away every time.

Surely enough, good changes came along much quicker than I even expected: I am starting a new job soon, and it is going to be sweet - literally and figuratively! More things on career side of life on this blog soon, I promise!

For now, to end this post on a goofy note, here is how Andrey and I looked on outrageously warm April day:

I know, you are thinking - why "goofy"? Well, we look goofy to me in this picture. :)

The world spins around you faster when you spin faster yourself!

Ever since we moved into our house I was waiting for the world to start spinning a little slower....

But it never happened. I thought I just need to get through this crazy, busy time and then I will have time to breathe, reflect on our wedding, house buying, house remodeling, honeymoon.... But it never stops, it just spins faster with more things just adding into rotation. 


So, I decided to just blog about things that are happening now and then gradually weave in reflections on oh-so-beautiful and important events of the past 6 months.

So, most recently I visited NYC very spontaneously. And ... fell in love with it again. As I always do. St. Valentine's day is actually, despite the cold, is a perfect time to visit this never sleeping city. This year it also fell on Chinese New Year, so this was a joint celebration. I think I was "drunk" just with pure energy of seeing so many different people in the subway, on the streets, in my most favorite place in NYC - Central Park. I must have been a New Yorker in my previous life - I feel right at home there. 
Here are some iPhone snapshots from the trip:

 

On the Q train, heading to Manhattan

Ah, coffee shops!

  

Hearst headquarters - I work for the company within Hearst, 

BUT we are not within THIS building, .. I wish!

a view from the 29th floor of the Hearst Tower ... oooh!

My favorite place in NYC - Central Park

St. Valentines Day in NYC :)

Shopping! 

After this little NYC LOVE note, I've yet to explain the headline of this post. 

I think we are just used to say that the world spins around us. In reality, though, it is US who are spinning,we just want to accomplish more and more in less and less time. So, really, we control the speed of our life. 

For me the life pauses when I blog - everything freezes in the air for my examination. I missed blogging.

The Honeymoon took a loooooong time. You don't beleive me?

Hm..... I am back again. From the honeymoon. Yes, it took 2 months. ..... !

Ok, I am a bad lier, and feel guilty that during this period of my life - wedding, moving into a new house, honeymoon and first holidays as a family  - I didn't blog. Clearly, it is  a crime, at least for my own sake.

To make up for this major miss I am going to be putting the pieces together in the next posts and recreating the beautiful picture of this fall's happenings.

For a sneak peak - Thailand, of course. The most beautiful beaches I've ever seen... So far... :) !

MIA, but I am back ... and off to the honeymoon in 6!! days

So, another disappearance. A serous remodeling with knocking out walls + moving into this half way finished house = 0 blog posts. The last three months surely had us occupied and, ironically, kept me and my newly minted husband (of exactly two months!!) more apart than together.

But, there is going to be light at the end of this tunnel - our honeymoon is 6 days away!! And, even I have not shared much about our wedding, this post is going to be about our trip.

First of all, our honeymoon is 2 months and 1 week apart from our wedding. Good or bad? Here is a plus: we get to go on the honeymoon after already feeling a little bit like a family. We have already taken a glimpse of our wedding photos and talked about the wedding with family and friends.  Drawback: definitely, the impressions of that special night are a bit in the past, they are not as alive.

Nevertheless, excitement and anticipation of the trip have never been greater for me. Our honeymoon destination is ... Thailand (Bangkok, and than - Krabi). History, culture, food, summer weather, beautiful beaches are just ahead. We are going to pause the winter for two weeks and finally, unwind.

I am pinching myself when I look at the pictures of the beautiful places we are going to vist. You'll understand me, here they are:

One of the fun projects we thought of for the honeymoon is to create video "letters" for our children  and "letters into the future" for ourselves to see when we are older. We'll do them here and there while we are on the trip. May be, if the project is successful I'll share the clips here, on the blog.

What were or will be yours special things to do on your honeymoon?

My first post as a WIFE!

So, it's been more than a month that I have disappeared from the blogersphere. There is a good reason for that and yet, no excuse!

Many girls out there are in their last three weeks of wedding planning and anticipation and still blog. They even blog on the day of the wedding! My respect goes out to these wonderful multitaskers, but I just couldn't do it.

Three weeks before the wedding and than some after the wedding are like going into a deep dive, having the wedding at the lowest point of this dive and than slowly coming back up. I know that this sounds gloom, but actually it is a very happy time, beyond any comprehension, and, emotionally speaking, very "drunk" time.

Finally, I am becoming "soberer" after this avalanche of events and emotions and can share them one by one. I think I will do the sharing in parts and this was just an introduction. Here is one of the pieces of magic captured at our wedding by our dearest friend and extraordinary artist - Yuka. 

1 Month before the wedding: anxiety

I have to admit that despite all the efforts not to be, I am a little behind on my wedding planning.

Luckily, only minor details are left to plan. Unluckily, these are the details that will make the day extra special, therefore these are very important. And, on top of the wedding anxiety, my job became way more hectic (that comes in the package with more interesting projects).

So, I am feeling quite stressed for about two weeks now.

So, here is what calms me down and keeps me in order (or at least prevents complete chaos):

1. Summer - just going outside and noticing how everything looks and smells makes me calmer, because I enjoy this summer, even though it rains a lot. I actually don't mind rain.
2. Toodledo.com - I think I finally found a way to track things. I wanted Google to come up with a task tool like that, so I can keep everything in the same spot, but this free tasking program so far wins over Google tasks for me. Toodledo gives you literally any criteria you can imagine to sort your tasks and keep them as together or as separate as you want.
3. My fiance is back home from a two week long trip. While I don't mind some time apart, in the last month before the wedding I need him like air. And not just because that he helps with planning (!!), but just having him around makes everything better.
4. Zoom out: when I feel completely tangled in the details of the day, I force myself to zoom out and look at myself, as if I am watching a movie. This helps to keep first things first.
5. Blogs that I follow: Blogs are a window of inspiration and emotional recharge for me, since everything there comes from talented self creators, and I am learning to be one. Jasmine Star's blog is my favorite, when I read her posts it feels that I am right there with her watching everything happen. Her posts are completely captivating and a work of word art.

According to Jasmine, every post is better with a picture. I agree. Here is one of my favorite shots I captured to date.
Wishing everybody a productive, everything-goes-as-planned week. (Wishful thinking, but we will try, right?)
How are you coping with your stressful moments?

Michael Jackson!

I was going to share our cake selection story and what was involved in this process, but .... Michael Jackson died. :( I can not really believe I am writing this. I couldn't peel myself away from the TV with Lary King's show on devoted to MJ. I couldn't hold back the tears.

All genius people have a weird side to them. May be this happens due to the forces of balance - if you are extraordinary good at something, you are also extraordinary bad at something else. But I wish this wasn't happening, I wish talented people really understood they had to preserve their talent for more people to enjoy it, get inspired from it, benefit from it.

To me Michal Jackson was talent, inspiration, example of excellence.

I was about 12, when even from our television signal challenged apartment house my dad managed to catch us the first commercial channel. Even on the best day the signal was weak and the picture was fuzzy, but we watched it anyways. Right after I came back from school the music videos were on. This is when I first saw, what remain my favorite videos by Michal Jackson.

What Birthdays Are Made From

Birthdays are made from rays of love from parents, teasing from brothers, happy tears of grandmas, cards from the most special, most wonderful husband-to-be with flowers in 8 in the morning, visits from future newest part of the family, calls and emails from the closest friends, and finally a cozy gathering of friends around the picnic table on a golden from the sun May afternoon.
Complete and blesses with so much goodness I enter the new year of my life. :)

Simple Pleasures of Home on A Saturday

I love the home we made of our apartment. Here are little things that make our home so cozy for me:

Our new white & fluffy blanket:

Colorful balcony rug and brand new greenery outside:

We found a color match for our red chest at the end of the bed...

These curtains immediately played up the presence of the chest in the room!

Ok, back to wedding planning: bridesmaids dresses, cakes, officiant (!). Happy beautiful long weekend!

It is May! And it is spring... now for sure!

May is my favorite month of the year. Not because my birthday is in May. (But it might add a little of the charm, of course. :)) I love May because of the blooming, the smell of fresh grass, first thunderstorms, first really warm evenings, first barbecues and the idea that the summer is still ahead.
Just couple of weeks ago I made Andrey wake up with me at 6 am on a Sunday to see this:

Beautiful, but still no color.

But, we did notice the tiny leaves on the trees:

An look at the same tree just a week later:

So much more color everywhere!

I am very happy to be in May and excited for more nature inspirations to come.
Happy May!

A new dimension of my life

Today I woke up at 7 am to go to work. This was the LATEST wake up in the last couple of days! :) Both Saturday and Sunday I woke up at 6 am for photo shoots. Finally I got a taste of real photography work and ... in great company!

Saturday together with my talented friend Yulia from Yuka Photo Art we froze my brother and his wife to the point when their noses became blue. Thanks so much, Yulia, for willing to share your knowledge and skills - it very valuable experience for me! Thank you, Sergei and Sasha for volunteering to be frozen! I hope you'd like the results. I am sure you'd like the ones from Yulia, but I think I've got some for you too!
Here is a sneak peek:

Sunday, together with my future sister-in-law we veered off to High Park and to Distillery District in beautiful Toronto. Tania and Toronto made a perfect pair to be photographed, so my work was lots of fun. Here is what's coming - a peek of this shoot:
Do you remember that unreal feeling when you wake up the next day after you finally kissed with that special someone you had a crush on for the longest time and realized that he (or she) is attracted to you too? The feeling, when world colors just got brighter and you are just at the door to the next most wonderful time in your life? This is how I felt this morning. ....:))

Good Morning, Monday!

Mondays for me, as for many other people, are difficult. It is the beginning of the work week. It is hard to switch gears from freer, on my schedule day to committed and scheduled day.

BUT:
0) Andrey is not business traveling this week and will spend evenings at home :)
1) it already feels and looks like Spring!
2) there was major progress on wedding planning this past weekend (but I won't tell just yet);
3) this week I WILL write about our Spring break trip;
4) my brother and his wife are in town, and we will be able to spend some time together!
5) if the weather holds, I will be doing my third!! photo shoot this coming weekend!! (I'm yet to cover my first two here - this is coming up).

So .... life patches together in a bright, spriny blanket and I am thrilled to cover myself with it!

By shellayy0077 from Photobucket

International Women's Day

Especially in Eastern Europe "The 8ths of March" - International Women's Day is as big holiday as Mother's Day here, in the USA, if not bigger. In Belarus, this is a day when florists earn probably half of their yearly revenue, all men are especially attentive to all women surrounding them at ANY moment, and we, ladies, feel like princesses and queens. I really like the atmosphere of this holiday and enjoy to be especially attentive to my Mom and grannies.

My warmest wishes to my dearest girlfriends - beautiful, smart, graceful, sophisticated and unique!

When I came back from work today, I was greeted by a bouquet of beautiful flowers and a card that I decided to keep on my nightstand:

:)))

Perfect Presents

Have you ever received a perfect birthday present? Something that you didn't even know you wanted so much until you got it? Andrey received a present like that from our friends for his birthday. (Perfect for me, that is). Of course, he appreciates it too, but I know I will enjoy it more.

We opened the lime green packet at the end of the night, and there it was - a wireless thermometer and weather forecaster! :) I know, you didn't expect it from me - to have such passion for weather predictions.

Let me explain.

You see, in Belarus, in our apartment in Minsk, my dad attached a thermometer outside our kitchen window probably as soon as we moved in, and we had it there for 20 years (all my life there)! My first thing to do in the morning was to check the temperature outside so I can decide how to dress for the day. Minsk is a big city, so you walked everywhere or used public transportation, so dressing appropriately was important. Now my friends in Minsk tell me they don't remember when was the last time they used public transport, as everybody has cars, but when we were growing up, we rode buses, trolleybuses, trams and subway.
Even though our suburban life in Buffalo allows to ignore the weather, as we jump from warm house to warm car to warm office and after work day is over in the opposite order, I still like knowing the weather before I head out. I don't know why, but it adds comforting routine to my morning.

So now, to MY greatest delight, we are proud owners of the wireless thermometer & weather forecaster.

Image via Amazon

Holiday Bliss

For me winter holidays start with snowy-themed coffee cups :)

They are also watching a snowstorm outside...

....with a bowl of cranberry-walnut-brown sugar oatmeal in front of me.

It is in decorating our place early this year by Belorussian standards

Getting a real tree, because the smell of pine is a part of the holidays

Our balcony table and chairs are attributes of summer, and it is very unusual to see them covered with snow
The holidays are filled with cozy evenings by Christmas-New Year tree.
All all this glitter, lights, cups of warm tee the longest night of winter become the coziest.

What are winter holidays for you?